Sharing quotes from the book “Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs” by Steven Hassan

DutyNo9425
Sharing quotes from the book “Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs” by Steven Hassan

I’m currently reading this book and wanted to share some of my notes:

1. Destructive cults are distinguished by their use of deception and extreme influence.
2. Being a powerful leader is not inherently wrong, though it carries the potential for abuse. A group becomes destructive when its leader actively uses such power to deceive members and rob them of their individuality.
3. Cult influence is designed to disrupt a person’s authentic identity and replace it with a new identity. By immersing people in a tightly controlled, high-pressure social environment, destructive cults gain control of members’ behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. They limit their access to outside information and literally take control of their minds.
4. With the steady application of treatment, love, and respect, cult members can be extricated and achieve independence.
5. If you want to help a cult member, you must be very careful to base any actions on respect for their rights and love for the person they are. The most effective approach is to remain flexible and plan carefully.
6. Only through its non-manipulative use can the influence process be simultaneously effective, ethical, and enduring.
7. Psychological influence becomes destructive when it is used to undermine a person’s ability to think and act independently.
8. Although a healthy individual will grow and mature over time, their basic personality doesn’t change. Changes in personality type may indicate unhealthy social pressure. Studies show that cults create this kind of pressure and verify the existence of a cult identity that binds the authentic self like a straitjacket.
9. It is the strength of the authentic self that makes it possible to rescue people from cults many years—even decades—after they join.
10. When each family member is responsible for growth and change, the cult member’s perspective changes from “I’m the victim, and everyone is here to help me” to “We’re a family, and everyone is growing and learning.”
11. The Strategic Interactive Approach (SIA) helps family and friends shift from an emotion-based form of communication to a goal-oriented style. We will no longer be informal or inadvertently cruel about what we say and do, nor will we take our relationships for granted. Our objective is to grow, change, and develop better communication strategies.
12. With every interaction, think of ways to amplify the positives and minimize the negatives.
13. Pay attention, ask questions, and become an “active” listener. Your loved one will tell you what needs to happen for them to leave the group. We want to send the message: “This is your life. It is your choice whether to stay in or come out. We just want to know that you are the one choosing—that you are freely making your own decisions.” This interactive process reinforces the cult member’s sense of integrity and control.
14. The SIA promotes change and encourages growth in the family as well as in the cult member to create conditions that motivate the individual to step away and begin questioning their involvement. Building a team of trustworthy, caring people is essential for a beneficial recovery.
15. Long-term members are sometimes easier to help since they have already experienced many lies, contradictions, and letdowns. Most long-term members know people who have left the group. You may ask them: “Do you think it’s possible to leave for legitimate reasons? Do you know anyone who ever left the group? Did they leave for legitimate reasons? Would you be open to talking with them about why they left?”
16. Make an effort to keep in regular contact. A picture postcard with a positive message like “I miss you” or “I love you. Please write back” is better than doing nothing. Even if your letters and cards go unanswered, each piece of mail will remind them that you still care.
17. In the SIA, we look at how a group behaves—not what it believes.
18. The most dangerous groups change doctrine at the whim of the leader. Usually, the more developed and codified a doctrine is, the more stable the group becomes.
19. Recognizing nonverbal cues by watching ourselves in a mirror or on videotape can help us understand and express ourselves more effectively.
20. Uncharacteristic behavior may include lying, breaking promises to visit, not answering calls, or not initiating contact. Long-term involvement may lead to numerous examples such as poor diet choices or neglecting responsibilities.
21. Individuals who are not prone to critical thinking are easier targets, and those who seek approval are more vulnerable.
22. Cults trap recruits in an all-encompassing web. However, the uniformity of a cult is also one of its weaknesses, as it makes the group’s actions predictable. An SIA team, on the other hand, can be creative, flexible, and unpredictable.
23. If a member’s cult identity appears healthy, it might be co-opting the talents and skills of the authentic self, making them seem completely normal to an untrained eye. Testing free will and thought is the only way to gauge the extent of destructive influence.
24. Think in terms of a continuum of influence—from respectful, ethical, growth-enhancing influence that values individuality, human rights, and creativity, to conformity, dependency, and slavery where all authority lies with the leader and the group.
25. It is unwise to accept a cult member’s claim of happiness at face value, as in a cult, happiness is often redefined as sacrifice or suffering.
26. In a free society, people are free to believe whatever they like but should also be protected from destructive influence and manipulation.
27. For anyone born into a belief system—religious, political, or otherwise—there comes a time to challenge and test assumptions. This process is necessary for all mature, responsible people.
28. The idea that people knowingly join destructive cults is wrong. Most cult recruits are brought in at vulnerable moments without understanding the forces acting upon them.
29. Destructive influence is a form of psychological abuse. In the hands of a cult leader, such techniques can devastate an individual’s psyche by inducing a dissociative state and creating a dominant cult identity that suppresses pre-cult issues.
30. Although a cult may seem to have advantages in money and manpower, your loved one is of special importance to you. Cult leaders will not care about them the way you do.
31. In the SIA, we help each person address their own issues first. We cannot truly help others until we help ourselves. Family and friends may see a cult member as “stuck” without realizing that they, too, might be stuck.
32. Cult members might point to family shortcomings—for example, asking, “Why should I talk with a therapist? You’ve never dealt with your drinking problem.” In these cases, acknowledging and overcoming personal issues not only builds rapport but also demonstrates that change is possible.
33. When every team member addresses their own problems, they empower themselves and set an example for the cult member. Remember, our overall goal is growth and change for everyone—not just the cult member.

Comments

No-Mention369:
“This is incredible! Thank you for sharing.”

Fast_Foundation1429:
“Great post 👍 Thanks for sharing ❤ These are all behaviours and traits of this corrupt organisation called Shincheonji.”

TreeSuper7303:
“The book that helped me realize I needed to leave! Thanks for sharing ❤.”

DutyNo9425:
Question: “I have a family member in there. What made you want to read this book? How did you end up with it (e.g., did someone tell you to check it out, did someone give it to you, etc.)? How long into SCJ did you end up with this book and how long after reading did you leave?”

↳ TreeSuper7303:
“Please dm me 😊”

↳↳ DutyNo9425:
“DMd”